Jay Z’s Confession, Infidelity and Our Girls

Photo atribute - Essence

Whether or not you’re a fan of Beyoncé’s music, as a MOCCA Mum you probably felt a tinge of disappointment when Jay Z confessed his affair. Let’s avoid the gloomy statistics on the rising rates infidelity and the theory of ‘philandering genes‘. They’re negative and fatalist. Let’s talk instead about the future. How do we prepare our girls today for healthy, monogamous relationships? Have a look at these 5 love styles taken from Focus on Family. The love styles arise from experiences in childhood.

5 Love Styles

1. The avoider- comes from performance-based homes that encourage independence, discourage expressing feelings or needs.

2. The pleaser- tries to be always good to keep parents from worrying or being angry. They avoid conflict.

3. The vacillator- has parent(s) who connects in sporadic and unpredictable ways. They may feel unseen and misunderstood.

4 & 5. The controller and the victim- are raised in chaotic homes with little or no connection. It may feel normal to mistreat or to be mistreated.

The truth is never comfortable. Parenting can never be perfected. Our daughters will end up in one of these categories or another. What’s key is their self-awareness – knowing their love style and finding ways to work on their relationship. MOCCA Mums, let’s defy statistics and stereotypes and continue to create awesomeness!